What I Wish You Understood About My Seasonal Depression

Do you feel sadder in the winter months?

I do.

It took me years to understand why I felt that way, and to be honest, when I talk about it, many people do not understand.

It is more than just the winter blues or a weird funk that you have to snap out of. It is something that I have to be mindful of for the entire year, so I am ready for it when it inevitably happens.

Seasonal depression, which is actually seasonal affective disorder (SAD), is a type of depression that is related to the changes in the season. The symptoms of SAD start in the fall and continue through the whole winter. And the winters are brutal in the Midwest.

It makes me moody and it seems to take all my energy away. It is a desperate cry for the spring and summertime. The sadness does slowly fade away when days get sunnier.

You may think that I am bored or lazy in winter, but it is much more than that.

I start to lose interest in things that I normally enjoy. I feel more tired, but I have trouble sleeping. I feel slow, and that agitates me. I want to eat more while I try to stay healthy. I have a hard time focusing. And the worst part is that I just feel hopeless, unworthy, and guilty-and most of the time, I don’t know why.