Hate To Break It To You But There Is No ‘Winning’ The Breakup

When I was young, I was told that there is always a winner and a loser in a breakup. The winner is the one who initiates the breakup and the one who gets dumped is the loser. I don’t think that’s ever been true, but I used to believe that.

It makes breaking up seem like a game, which makes love sound like one, but love is not a game. If you see love as something where you win or lose, I don’t think you know love is. When real feelings get hurt, it becomes more than just a competition and it becomes more than just winning and losing.

When a relationship ends, lives change. Routines change and our patterns change. The person who once used to be your everything is no longer around to listen to your stories. You can no longer call them to tell them about your day or ask them their opinions on what to do next.

When you remove someone from your life, you can stop all modes of communication, but you cannot do the most important thing of all-you cannot stop feeling for the person.

It becomes impossible to listen to ‘your’ song and not feel sad and angry. You cannot forget all the little things and not think about each other. You remember the details of what they liked on their pizza or their weird feng shui obsession with where to put the bed.