Childless by choice

We grow up reading stories and watching movies where boy meets girl, falls in love, goes through some struggles before getting married and live happily ever after. If there is a sequel, they have a baby, struggle some more, and live happily ever after again.

We love happy stories of love, and there is nothing wrong with that. Most of us enjoy the idea of marriage and starting a family, the problem lies in self-appointed advisors who act like that they know better.

Once you are married, be prepared to be asked about the baby every step of the way. Most of my married Nepali friends and relatives have had to dodge multiple ‘when are you going to have a baby?’ questions.

Ava, 28, is happily married in Kathmandu and loves her job. She worked hard to get good education and her dream job. She wants to continue working, and does not want children.

“I never wanted to be a mother, and I never felt that desire,” says Ava, who is not in speaking terms with some of her family members because of constant line of questioning. “A small part of me feels bad, but I had to draw my boundaries for my own sanity.”

Many women do want to get married and have children but not all. Some choose never to get hitched while others like Ava who get married and stay childless, are considered selfish.